With news breaking late Monday night that the Penguins hope to get at least verbal commitments from both Jaromir Jagr and Tyler Kennedy by week’s end, we’re taking #jagrwatch to another level. Because we know nothing inspires fans from our city quite like “Renegade” by Styx, we’ve asked the extraordinarily talented Daniel Marcus to create a Jagr anthem by borrowing liberally from that most Pittsburgh of tunes. From the man who brought you the timeless classic “Sushi with Hilary Duff,” here is “Mullet Man.”
“Mullet Man” Lyrics (to the tune of “Renegade)
Oh Jagr I’m in fear for the season if we don’t sign you this week.
Time now to put an end to your running cause you’re so far from your home.
Oh Jagr I can hear you crying, you’re so scared and all alone.
Friday is coming quick like your backhand, and we don’t have very long.
The jig is up the news is out we’ve finally found you,
The superstar who went astray, oh how we missed you, too.
Never more to go away,
This will be the signing day, of the mullet man. The muuuullet maaaaaan.
Skate down the ice with your sexy hair flowing,
waiting on the halfboards for a pass from Sidney Crosby.
Jaromir, improve our power play.
Use your mullet, use your mullet
to help you with hockey.
Your sexy mullet flowing behind you.
Skating down the ice with your mullet behind you.