Rebecca Black: "I Can’t Follow My Dreams While Going to a Normal School"

By Finesse

Just when you think you know Rebecca Black, she rewrites the script.  We loved her boldness and directness in “Friday,” but we became exhausted with the hubris pervading her follow up hit, “My Moment.”  On balance, and after a GTOG Board of Directors meeting during which tears were shed, we decided she was a Villain for ditching the friend on her right side to reach for brighter stars.  But then we retroactively made her a Hero when we heard that some little shits caused her to drop out of school by teasing her about her commitment to driving down the highway without a seatbelt while singing about fun, fun, fun, and fun.  We were confident in our decision to make her a Hero as late as early this afternoon when Gawker cruelly ridiculed RB’s performance on “America’s Got Talent,” which we thought was a brilliant combination of bright lights, stairs that Rebecca was walking up and down for no apparent reason, and Nick Cannon shouting indiscriminately.

But then Rebecca took it to a whole new level.  With complete and total disregard for Twitter’s 140 character limit, Rebecca clarified exactly why she decided to be home schooled.  Behold:

Hey guys! So, Nightline didn’t tell the whole story about why I decided to be home schooled. Although the bullying was one reason I left school, the MAIN reason was that my school has a policy that missing school because of work would be unexcused, so I entered a California online high school for performers and athletes to get credit for work they do at home or on the road. Bottom line, I can’t follow my dreams while going to a normal school. It’s just not possible in my school district.

At the outset, we’d like to reiterate that we still want to strangle the little shits who are teasing Rebecca because they are jealous that she took an idea that everyone thought was settled — Friday — and made it … FRIDAY!

So true.

But this is bigger than bullying.  Rebecca has opened our eyes and allowed us to see the real problem facing America’s children.  The problem is not bullying in schools; the problem is school.

Rebecca’s wisdom has us concerned for the next generation of Dreamers.  Like Rebecca, will future children’s dreams also be stifled by the inconvenience of normal school?  Will irresponsible school policies like “keeping attendance” crush the dreams of those who want to travel to New York on a Wednesday to be on The Today Show?  Will bureaucrats on the Board of Education pull the plug on the mic just as Nic Cannon gives the signal to start singing?

There’s a lot of pessimism in America right now.  But the future is bright as long as we have kids like Rebecca who have no tolerance for outdated concepts like “report cards” or “K through 12” and are willing to risk everything in pursuit of what we can all agree is a higher calling: getting hits on YouTube.

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