There were three enormous announcements made today. Some were riveting, others put you to sleep. Some made you cry, others made you cry harder. Some were interesting, and others were made by Alex Ovechkin.
Let’s take them one at a time.
Ben Flajnik is going to be the new Bachelor
There are a lot of newspapers that have a rule requiring that two sources confirm a story before the paper runs with it. We have a rule that we don’t believe someone has been picked as the Bachelor until he tweets out the word “journey.” So despite weeks of rumblings that Ben F. was the new Bachelor, we weren’t convinced until this tweet came across our feed just a short time ago.
That’s how you make an announcement. Here’s hoping that he learned a lesson from his runner-up finish on this summer’s The Bachelorette: it’s OK to lament the loss of a parent, but if you’re going to cry, Artistry would prefer that you cry about Ashley, not said dead parent.
Alex Ovechkin is switching from CCM to Bauer
Hopefully writing about this will not serve to convince you that we care. Because we couldn’t possibly care about something less. Witness, this tweet from James Mirtle:
Boy, isn’t that something. His first insight should be to figure out how to make more interesting announcements. Word is that Bauer is also donating 108 sets of equipment to kids at the Caps local practice facility. Kids can pick up their equipment by center ice while the puck is in the Caps’ zone.
Sidney Crosby will be holding a press conference tomorrow
At this point, no one really knows what the press conference will be about, but we can deduce one thing for certain: it’s not going to be “good” news. It’s likely that Sid will describe his ups and downs from training this summer and maybe even make some pronouncement about his future. If you’re expecting him to be ready for the start of training camp or even the start of season, then you might be concussed. There has been almost no positive news since Sid sustained the concussion(s), and there is no reason to think this will be any different. Best case scenario is more of the same: “I’m making progress, but I’m not 100%. I’ll be back when I’m ready. I don’t know when that will be.”
|“I look forward to continuing to look awkward in RBK commercials.”|
If we sound pessimistic, it’s because we are. We’ve erected our walls.
What about yours, Ben?