Emily and JEF from The Bachelorette have broken up; How do we heal?

By Finesse

Shocking news yesterday that JEF and Emily have decided to end their relationship.  [We predicted they would last for 60 sunsets].  They each released statements that checked all the boxes: they tried, it didn’t work, it was an incredible journey, they want privacy, they still love each other’s families, Emily didn’t sleep with Matt Leinart, or maybe she did, they need time to heal, and something about Little Ricki being cherished.  The only reason it didn’t work, they both said, is that they were simply at different points in their lives.

Like so many of you, we at GTOG grieved the only way we know how: IMing each other.

Finesse: I assume you’ve already heard the news
Artistry: I read about it when I couldn’t sleep in the middle of the night. It kept me up another 2 hours
Finesse: How did it make you feel?
Artistry: They are just at different points in their lives? No, they aren’t. They were both at a point where they thought it would be a good idea to find love on the Bachelorette. Why can’t that be good enough?
Finesse: They were at the exact same point in their lives. They may even have the same birthday.
Artistry: What a hilarious thing the Bachelor universe has evolved into. Everyone breaks up and dates other people in the Bachelor universe. Does no one else understand them?
Finesse: They want to be on TV and have sex with each other.
Artistry: We should do a podcast soon

Indeed, with so many unanswered questions still lingering, we will be doing a podcast soon.  Until then, we mourn the loss of one great celebrity family…

EF

…and celebrate the promise of another.

ME
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